"A negative mind will never give you a positive life."
There are some people out there who don't like me.
I'm okay with that.
There was a time when I'd have dwelled on the possibility of someone not liking me. But as I am fully entering adulthood {which I'm convinced does not occur until after 25 - I'm 29, btw}, I've discovered that ... it's impossible to like everyone you meet and that usually there are far more people out there who actually do like you. It's not about whether or not you like another person, it's about how you respond to not liking them or to them not liking you. Usually, if it's someone that I don't really know that well - I honestly assume that it's more of a reflection of themselves than it is with anything that has to do with me.
Because it is true:
We view the world in the way we choose to.
In my late teens and early twenties - I was an outspoken, honest girl and I still am these things today but I'm just more careful and I have actually learned that brief thoughts of anger and frustration are irrational and after some time fades the thoughts you had in the moment you are able to rationalize and realize that some things weren't as big of a deal as your brain thought at the time.
Taking the time to think things through instead of blurting out your frustrations takes a lot more courage than the opposing.
When I was younger, if I had a problem, I'd say it. I did this until I realized that I was misconstruing "bravery" with being a hard headed, tell it like it is girl with a fowl mouth and what I called a backbone.
Now, I'm not saying that I learned to lay down and allow the world to walk all over me, I learned WHEN to fight my battles. I will always stick up for myself ... but when I was constantly ''difficult'' to deal with ... it was because I was not acting out of bravery, but out of fear. It was considerably more comfortable to push people away instead of letting them in, because I'd been hurt by people I cared about and I had friends who turned out to be enemies. So I lost the ability to trust... and what I developed in it's place was fear and animosity.
And that was my battle to overcome.
After peeling back the layers and some pretty extensive internal monologue - I was able to discover that I was creating a bigger problem for myself. It's not something that you can change over night, I will say that... it's a long road to truly embracing positive thoughts and understanding the amount of courage that goes in to taking the high road because some things.. just don't need to be said.
The hardest part in this process for me, which has now been developing for about five solid years or so is coping with conflict and having patience. I have a desire to fix things immediately and make things right instantaneously. I am horrible in dealing with conflict. But when I consider how I used to deal with conflict as compared to now, I realize that I have come a long way.
Learning to ignore was the best blessing. Ever.
Practicing ''Out of Sight, Out of Mind'' - is, although difficult, the best thing you can do when something or someone is frustrating you. I will assess the situation, how important it is to address something and make it right verses just letting it go and removing the situation from sight. Usually most things are worth resolving, but those rare occasions where I don't feel it's worth it - I remove all traces of that issue from my sight.
And I am surprisingly - incredible at this. Because I realized one really valuable lesson :
The less something that frustrates you is accessible to you, the less control it has over your emotions. After some time passes, you'll have learned that it was something never worth your time to begin with.
And that my friends, is an amazing feeling!
I never wake up in the morning not feeling blessed for the things that I have. Not appreciating a good husband, beautiful children, having true friends, great relatives, a beautiful strong and inspiring mother - these are all things I'm grateful for and that I have learned to focus my energy on.
There will always be something out there to bring you down, but really... ONLY if you let it.
Don't ever let anyone bring you down.
ALWAYS PRACTICE GRATITUDE + UNDERSTANDING!
And remember to just ...
There are some people out there who don't like me.
I'm okay with that.
There was a time when I'd have dwelled on the possibility of someone not liking me. But as I am fully entering adulthood {which I'm convinced does not occur until after 25 - I'm 29, btw}, I've discovered that ... it's impossible to like everyone you meet and that usually there are far more people out there who actually do like you. It's not about whether or not you like another person, it's about how you respond to not liking them or to them not liking you. Usually, if it's someone that I don't really know that well - I honestly assume that it's more of a reflection of themselves than it is with anything that has to do with me.
Because it is true:
We view the world in the way we choose to.
In my late teens and early twenties - I was an outspoken, honest girl and I still am these things today but I'm just more careful and I have actually learned that brief thoughts of anger and frustration are irrational and after some time fades the thoughts you had in the moment you are able to rationalize and realize that some things weren't as big of a deal as your brain thought at the time.
Taking the time to think things through instead of blurting out your frustrations takes a lot more courage than the opposing.
When I was younger, if I had a problem, I'd say it. I did this until I realized that I was misconstruing "bravery" with being a hard headed, tell it like it is girl with a fowl mouth and what I called a backbone.
Now, I'm not saying that I learned to lay down and allow the world to walk all over me, I learned WHEN to fight my battles. I will always stick up for myself ... but when I was constantly ''difficult'' to deal with ... it was because I was not acting out of bravery, but out of fear. It was considerably more comfortable to push people away instead of letting them in, because I'd been hurt by people I cared about and I had friends who turned out to be enemies. So I lost the ability to trust... and what I developed in it's place was fear and animosity.
And that was my battle to overcome.
After peeling back the layers and some pretty extensive internal monologue - I was able to discover that I was creating a bigger problem for myself. It's not something that you can change over night, I will say that... it's a long road to truly embracing positive thoughts and understanding the amount of courage that goes in to taking the high road because some things.. just don't need to be said.
The hardest part in this process for me, which has now been developing for about five solid years or so is coping with conflict and having patience. I have a desire to fix things immediately and make things right instantaneously. I am horrible in dealing with conflict. But when I consider how I used to deal with conflict as compared to now, I realize that I have come a long way.
Learning to ignore was the best blessing. Ever.
Practicing ''Out of Sight, Out of Mind'' - is, although difficult, the best thing you can do when something or someone is frustrating you. I will assess the situation, how important it is to address something and make it right verses just letting it go and removing the situation from sight. Usually most things are worth resolving, but those rare occasions where I don't feel it's worth it - I remove all traces of that issue from my sight.
And I am surprisingly - incredible at this. Because I realized one really valuable lesson :
The less something that frustrates you is accessible to you, the less control it has over your emotions. After some time passes, you'll have learned that it was something never worth your time to begin with.
And that my friends, is an amazing feeling!
I never wake up in the morning not feeling blessed for the things that I have. Not appreciating a good husband, beautiful children, having true friends, great relatives, a beautiful strong and inspiring mother - these are all things I'm grateful for and that I have learned to focus my energy on.
There will always be something out there to bring you down, but really... ONLY if you let it.
Don't ever let anyone bring you down.
ALWAYS PRACTICE GRATITUDE + UNDERSTANDING!
And remember to just ...
Enjoy your weekend everyone!
Crystal Broussard
www.crystalbroussardphotography.com
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